The Miracle Phone Call

You’ve probably heard me talk about anxiety and how deeply I suffered with it early on in my marriage.

I don’t want to bore you with a self-pity story, but I do want to tell you about the Miracle Phone Call I received because it was a pivotal moment in my life.

But first, let me give you some context about those early days.

This was back when I had toddlers and a baby and I was not sleeping well. I’d stay in bed as long as I could. When I did get up, my head was filled with complaints about my life.

I felt like I needed a break. Time alone.

My head was swimming.

I felt like I couldn’t catch up.

Anxiety was high, my heart was constantly racing, my appetite was nonexistent. I ate mostly saltine crackers and toast.

Each day was about surviving. It looked like, What can I do to keep everyone happy? Because if everyone was happy, I made that mean that no one would get sick.

If everyone was happy, I’d be okay. We’d survive.

It felt like hanging on the edge of a cliff. Feeling terrified to look down. Living ignorant. Not knowing was safer than knowing.

There was terror in knowing.

Because knowing meant that I was wrong. I was right that I was wrong. I messed up. And everything was going to fall apart.

If this sounds confusing and perhaps a little crazy, well…that was what it was like for me.

Amidst this daily experience, I received a phone call from someone who loved me.

She said, “I don’t want you to talk. I want you to listen. I’m going to tell you some hard things and I want you hear them. They’re going to be hard to hear, but I’m going to tell you because I love you.”

And so I sat on the sofa and I listened.

She told me what she saw when she looked at me. She told me what she saw I was doing to my life.

I was astounded. I heard words like depression and anorexia and I just sat there taking it all in.

I knew it must have been hard for her to tell me. I wondered if my mom asked her to, but I didn’t ask.

To this day I believe it’s a miracle that I was able to listen. To not hold anything against her.

To be open.

To have my eyes opened to the way I was living my life.

Once your eyes are opened, you can’t NOT see, even if you pretend not to.

It is a miracle that I got off the phone and I cried and cried because I knew she was right.

It’s a miracle that I could have compassion for myself and that I didn’t shame myself and revert to anger.

It’s a miracle that I processed that emotion and didn’t yell at my kids because I was sad.

It’s a miracle that I allowed it to take as long as it took. 

It’s a miracle that I decided to change. To be different. To figure me out.

It’s a miracle that I understood that I was both the problem and the solution, and that was okay.

It is a miracle that led me to The Life Coach School and where I am today.

I talk a lot about how you can control your outcomes, but there is a Divine hand at play, guiding you.

You still have to make decisions, but you are guided. If you don’t make the “right” one, you will be guided to the next one, so there isn’t a right one to make when you believe in miracles.

It’s like God is holding the map, but you still have to drive the car.

And sometimes it feels so hard to put it in gear.

It feels like doing that will make the car fall apart or that you’ll drive off a cliff in the middle of nowhere.

But that comes from fear, and we’re taught that we don’t have to fear, and that’s what I want to leave you with. 

That and the power of miracles.

What if what you want is for you? Do you want to learn how to receive it? To open up? To be available to miracles? Let’s talk.